I read a blog post last week where the blogger said it was a form of therapy for her to write her blog. This might be a little bit of that for me.
I also know that sometimes we ask questions there are no answers for. That might be the case for me here.
I know that flushing things out in the writing process can add clarity to thinking. Maybe that will come by the time I get to the end of this piece.
Today was Boss’s Day. Our staff knows me very well. I found outside my office door a great surprise of vitamin water, a convenience store gift card, and protein bars. Those are some of my favorite things. There was also a pile of cards with all types of comments, thoughts, appreciation, gratitude, and words of affirmation. When I started to read their words and cry as I normally do (must admit I like a good cry), I looked around and noticed something. I have saved all the notes from this same day last year. I have cards saved on top of my shelf from as long as 4 years ago spanning a couple of different school districts. It dawned on me that I read those things, frequently, almost daily. Come to think of it, I have an email folder titled “happy” where I’ve saved emails that I go back and read occasionally. They make me smile due to past moments of pride or joy. Do I have a problem? Or have I just uncovered something in these moments of reflection?
I started to think about offices or workspaces of others I know. They don’t always have those things hanging around. Why do I seem to NEED them when others don’t? I’ve never seen myself as lacking in self-esteem or confidence so I truly don’t think that is the reason. In other aspects of my life, that outward showing of appreciation doesn’t seem as necessary as it does at school. To go even further, it didn’t seem as impactful to me in my role as a teacher as it does now as a principal.
It’s an odd reflection to have on Boss’s Day (I prefer Leader’s Day). I don’t think it makes me better or worse in my role than anyone else. Maybe just different. How different? I’m not sure. I certainly need to do some more thinking on why those words of affirmation have such a big impact on me. But I must admit, those words brought a lot of smiles to my face today!